Divorce is an emotional process, but it does not have to be an adversarial one. People in the midst of a divorce can find healthy outlets for their emotions and ways to cooperate with their spouses instead of engaging in conflict. Mediation can help divorcing couples settle crucial details about property division, child custody, parenting time and financial issues without stepping foot in a courtroom or appearing in front of a judge.
An amicable or cooperative approach to divorce is particularly beneficial when there are minor children of the marriage. No matter how the parents feel about each other, chances are high that they have to share custody, or at least co-parent, after they divorce.
Mediation is one of several ways that those preparing for divorce go from disagreeing about almost everything to finalizing a contentious divorce. Mediation, which is often required by the Courts, serves people in a variety ways. However, mediation may prove particularly useful for those worried about how divorce might affect their children.
How can divorce mediation benefit the children of divorcing parents?
Limiting the degree of conflict
When parents intend to litigate their divorces, disputes may escalate as they wait and prepare to enter the courtroom. Conversely, when they mediate, they have to work together, through their respective counsel’s sound advice, toward resolution. Mediation therefore invites a sense of cooperation even if there are contested issues between them.
For many couples, committing to divorce mediation helps them limit their conflict with one another, which is ultimately beneficial for their children. Divorce tends to become more damaging for children in the long term in scenarios where conflict levels are particularly high. When parents resolve their disagreements in mediation, they can avoid an ever-intensifying level of conflict that impacts the whole family.
Eliminating the need to testify
Sometimes – though it should be rare – children have concerns or particular desires about custody and parenting time arrangements. Parents may ask children to testify – which is discouraged; or children may speak with a guardian ad litem, a much preferred way over children testifying, to voice their wishes. Both of those scenarios can be very stressful for the children.
Children feel like they are in the middle of the conflict if they have to testify or speak with a guardian ad litem. A child may feel like she had to choose sides or “betray” one parent. By settling everything amicably outside of court, parents eliminate the need for children to voice their opinions about custody and parenting time arrangements.
Attending divorce mediation together can help parents settle their disagreements and move forward with their lives after divorce in a more positive manner.